Friday, July 1, 2011

My Midwestern Memorandum, Part II: The Ballad of BrownSugar Jones

"I soon realized that no journey carries one far unless, as it extends into the world around us, it goes an equal distance into the world within."

-Lillian Smith


hey guys. i'm back again with more stories from the windy city.

one of the things that i particularly enjoyed was going out to dinner with my cousin and the groomsmen for a boys night out/bachelor party. just 6 guys hanging out, you know, going to a steakhouse, eating bacon on a stick.

you read that right. bacon on a stick. and this wasn't a thin stick of bacon. this was a thick chunk of pig on an elongated toothpick. 5 of them, to be exact. to make it better, the people there put a maple syrup dipping sauce next to it. pure maple syrup. believe me, i know my syrup. and even if i didn't, i'm fairly certain this level of awesome would be too much for poor old aunt jemima's heart to handle.

the next day two of my newfound friends and i went out with the intention of taking in a nice boat ride displaying chicago's architecture. my cousin called me to make sure i knew that the wedding rehearsal was at 4. it was the first time i had heard his voice rattle. ever. for as long as i had known him i had always admired his sense of cool and resolve. i guess he was dealing with a lot that day, or just really excited. but it made me think about how wonderful everything had been. beautiful weather to walk around in and beautiful people to walk around with. this kind of thought can be very distracting, you know. enough that you could leave your phone in a taxi cab.

WAIT. WHERE IS MY PHONE? AHHHHHHH!!

as i screamed in my head, my friends called pretty much ever taxi company in the city before we tracked down my phone, which had fallen into the hands of a woman with a thick i-have-no-idea-what accent who didn't call us back even though we called the phone almost 30 times. we then rapidly travelled back uptown once we had a location on the phone. we retrieved it not far from where we had left for the boat trip. as a token of gratitiude, i took my two friends out to lunch at a korean bbq place across the street. and yes...it was yummy.

since my impotence had killed any shot of us going on the boat tour at that point in time, we then decided to go to the beach.

yes, there is a beach in chicago.

it's located right alongside beautiful lake michigan. we sat down near the lake and at this point, we had been walking all day pretty much and this time my arthritic right knee actually had a reason to yell at me. it was so quiet and peaceful that i laid back and fell asleep. chicago is a city, as you all know, but it does a pretty good job of not letting on that it is. i can't recall a time where i was more relaxed.

it made me sad that we really don't have anything close to this in jersey. by comparison, falling asleep next to the delaware would be like being a roman catholic who just so happens to be married to a wildfire, and honestly, who wants that kind of matrimony? i mean, they're loud, unpredictable, and even though you did the right thing and got married first, it's usually a while before they put out.


sorry, i had to. you see an opportunity to make a bad joke and you take it, man.

overall, it was the perfect weekend. my cousin's wedding was beautiful, unique, and just special. what made it better was that everyone around knew how special it was and that they would never see a wedding like that ever again. and the group of friends i gained will probably be ones i keep for a long time. maybe forever if they'll have me. and i couldn't be more overjoyed for my cousin and his new bride. and i couldn't be more honored that they allowed me to be part of it.


so that's it...i think...i don't think i left anything out...but if i did, you will see a part three.

l8r.

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